Tracee Ellis Ross Says She Dates Younger Men to Avoid the Toxic Masculinity in Her Age Group

Hollywood royalty and ‘Black-ish’ star Tracee Ellis Ross is making headlines yet again, this time not for her acting or her epic style, but for unapologetically speaking her truth about love, dating, and why older men just don’t make the cut.

On a recent episode of Michelle Obama’s “The Light Podcast”, Ross peeled back the velvet curtain on her dating life and dropped a truth bomb that’s sent shockwaves through the entertainment world and frankly, the patriarchy itself.

“Toxic Masculinity Is a Hell No for Me”: Ross Sets the Record Straight

During an intimate conversation with Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson, Ross didn’t mince words. She candidly revealed why she often dates younger men, and spoiler alert, it’s not about chasing youth or clout. It’s about dodging the deep-rooted toxicity she’s encountered among men her own age.

“But a lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been raised in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks,” Ross said. “Anything that starts to smell of that, for me… I did enough of it where I was controlled and felt like I was a possession—or a prize. And I have no interest in it. I will not do it again. I’m sorry. No.”

That “no” isn’t just a casual refusal. It’s a manifesto.

The Emotional Receipts: Ross Refuses to Be Controlled Ever Again

For Ross, the issue goes far beyond awkward first dates or stale relationship dynamics. It’s about liberation. It’s about refusing to be another casualty of a system that tells women they should shrink to fit into a man’s life.

The Emmy-nominated actress, who has always exuded confidence and independence, admits she’s had to fight hard to maintain her autonomy in past relationships.

“I’m not going to participate in relationships where I’m expected to bend, break, or babysit,” she said.

She likened some past relationships to feeling like she was being “possessed”, treated not as a person but as a “prize” or extension of someone else’s ego. And when you’ve spent decades building a career, a legacy, and a life of purpose, being reduced to a trophy is not just insulting, it’s infuriating.

Younger Men, Different Vibe: Why the Age Gap Works

So, what is it about younger men that draws Ross in? It’s not what you think.

According to Ross, men from younger generations tend to arrive at relationships with less baggage, less entitlement, and a more evolved understanding of gender dynamics. There’s less “man-of-the-house” nonsense, and more emotional intelligence.

“There’s a flexibility and curiosity I often find with younger men,” Ross explained. “They don’t immediately expect you to shrink, to nurture, or to teach.”

She’s done with the “mama therapist” dynamic. She’s not trying to raise anyone else’s son emotionally and she certainly isn’t going to settle for a partner who expects her to.

No Kids, No Partner, No Problem: Ross Rewrites the Fairy Tale

Ross also got real about what it means to be single and child-free in an industry and a society that relentlessly tells women they’re incomplete without a ring or a baby.

“I’ve grieved not having children. I’ve grieved not having a partner,” she admitted. “But I’m also really proud of the life I’ve created. I’m not lacking. I’m not broken.”

That kind of radical self-acceptance is a rebellion in itself, especially in Hollywood. And it’s why Ross’s words are resonating so deeply, not just with fans, but with women everywhere who are exhausted by the endless pressure to couple up and settle down, often at the expense of their joy.

The Takeaway: This Is What Empowerment Actually Looks Like

Tracee Ellis Ross didn’t just vent, she set a new bar. She laid out a blueprint for what boundary-setting looks like when you’ve finally decided to put your own peace above outdated relationship norms. And it’s resonating hard, especially in an industry where women are too often asked to shrink, smile, and sacrifice.

In a world where older men can still get applauded for “dating down” the age scale, Ross is flipping the script. She’s not interested in power plays, patriarchal posturing, or playing by someone else’s rules. And if that makes her intimidating? So be it.

As Michelle Obama nodded along during the conversation, it was clear this isn’t just about dating younger men. It’s about taking your life and your love into your own damn hands.

Watch the Full Conversation

Watch Tracee Ellis Ross drop the mic on toxic masculinity and dating in her sit-down with Michelle Obama: