Maddie Kowalski says she’s still trying to come to terms with how to breathe after the online scandal she never asked for and never saw coming.
The 21-year-old University of Florida student found herself at the center of public intrigue after videos of her, showing her to be intoxicated at a fraternity party, surfaced on the internet.
In a video series, Kowalski has been speaking to the public about her experiences, giving her own account of what happened and what she is trying to do to heal.
“Now that I’ve had a little bit of time to process everything, I just wanted to come on here and talk a little bit more about myself, as well as everything I’ve gone through,” she said. “I’m going to be as open and transparent as I can.”
Kowalski noticed what people picked up on when she started using the internet again, such as dyeing her hair blonde. Kowalski claimed she dyed her hair blonde “as a way of trying to disappear.
“I’ve done a lot of things to kind of change my appearance during this time, to hide from the world,” she said.
Early on, Kowalski made it clear that she did not intend to strike back at anyone and would not identify anyone involved in the matter.
“I’m not here to try and get back at anyone,” she said. “Many parts of this contain potentially criminal acts, and to protect the criminal and legal process, I will not be naming names of those involved.”
She also addressed others who may be facing a similar situation.
“If you’re going through any kind of cyber sexual harassment, or any kind of sexual abuse, for that matter, please know that you’re not alone,” she said, encouraging people to seek help through organizations such as StopNCII.org and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Kowalski says it all started on Sunday when she found out that a nude picture of her had been circulated through the contact lists of Florida State University.
“In this picture, I was heavily intoxicated, and my friend was holding me up,” she said.
Shortly after, she received messages saying she was being mentioned on Yik Yak, a private social media site used at many colleges.
“People kind of think they can just say whatever they want,” she said.
As posts escalated, Kowalski said people began referencing videos she had no memory of. Confused and overwhelmed, she went to X, where she saw them for the first time.
“There were several videos from two nights that I could barely remember,” she said. “At this moment, I just felt my whole world collapse.”
She described the feeling of watching the footage spread uncontrollably.
“Everything was being shared and reposted so fast, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” she said. “I felt really detached from the girl in the videos because I had so little memory of the events.”
Issues worsened when her personal details were leaked.
“Somebody leaked my phone number, and people started posting what my social media accounts were,” she said. “Before I could privatize my accounts, pictures of me and my friends and my family were being posted all over the internet.”
Kowalski reported receiving thousands of calls, texts, and direct messages.
“I was receiving thousands of phone calls and texts and DMs saying the most horrific things you can imagine,” she said.
Her roommates sensed the danger and stayed with her.
“They went out of their way to stay with me and make sure I was okay,” she said. “I’m just so grateful that they cared so much about protecting me.”
This harassment also involved her family. According to Kowalski, her father started appearing in photos on the internet, which included personal images of her father. People using pseudonyms contacted her father to request a comment on the videos.
“One person even filmed their conversation with my parents and posted it to X illegally,” she said. “I’ll never understand how people can go so low to hurt somebody purely for their own fun and enjoyment.”
Despite their public humiliation, her parents never wavered.
‘They’ve stood by me without judgment and with unconditional love,’ she said. ‘They’ve supported me 100 percent, even though the situation was completely life-changing and embarrassing.'”
As the story gained traction, posts began to spread beyond X and Yik Yak. Popular users started posting about it on TikTok and Instagram, many of which Kowalski claims are false.
‘Most of these were just saying completely untrue, defamatory, and disgusting things,’ she said. ‘By now it felt like the entire world was making fun of me for something they knew nothing about, and that was devastating.’
These statements were as disturbing to her as she indicated.
‘People were even taking naked photos of me and putting them into TikTok comment sections,’ she said.
Kowalski discussed rumors about the videos.
“‘Yes, there were nonconsensual sexual images and videos of me posted to the internet,’ she said. Yes, I was under the influence in all of these videos.'”
She rejected suggestions that she had sex in exchange for something.
The rumors that I did anything in exchange for anything are entirely false,’ she said. ‘Completely false and not true.'”
She admitted to having made choices she later regretted, but she was certainly not in a position to give her consent.
‘I was not in a sound mind to consent to anything depicted in the videos,’ she said.
Although some people supported her on social media, most of her friends disappeared.
‘I’m extremely crushed that so many of my supposed friends abandoned me during this,’ she said. ‘I have never felt more alone.”
By next Monday afternoon, she was trending on X (formerly known as Twitter) after those posts were not taken down.
Kowalski was forced to move back home and change her appearance.
‘I’ve been terrified to leave the house out of fear of being recognized and the harassment that would follow,’ she said. ‘My biggest fear is another picture of me showing up on social media.'”
She spoke about another online video.
‘I was under the influence and unable to consent to anything depicted in that video,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know I was being filmed, and I certainly did not consent to it being distributed.’
Kowalski reveals she’s choosing to move forward.
‘Although I don’t have control over what happened to me, I can control what I do moving forward,’ she said.
She described the past weeks as the darkest of her life, but said survival itself feels meaningful.
‘I’m still here, and that’s something I’m really learning to be proud of,’ she said.
Kowalski said she plans to document her healing journey and hopes her story helps others feel less alone.
‘If sharing my story can help even one person feel seen, or teach one person why consent and decency matter, then it’s worth it,’ she said.
‘This is the start of me taking my life back.”
Watch Maddie Kowalski speak about the incident:
