Paige Spiranac Admits Her Biggest Fear About Having Children: “I Don’t Want to Feel Like I’m Failing at Work and Failing as a Mom”

Former professional golfer Paige Spiranac is known for blending teaching with subtle flirting on social media, which has earned her one of the largest followings. Her latest golf lesson on YouTube includes plenty of both, featuring an amateur who hasn’t had a chance to learn to play under a coach’s supervision.

Spiranac, 33, uploaded her video on Thursday. Titled “Turning a Fitness Hottie into a Golfer feat. Kendall Toole,” it tells about how Spiranac teaches Toole, who used to be a Peloton instructor, the basics of golf, including tee shots, fairway woods, chipping, bunker play, and putting.

Paige Spiranac competed in college Division I golf tournaments at the University of Arizona and San Diego State, then joined the development tour Cactus Tour before becoming famous on social media.

In this video, Spiranac combines instruction about golf swing mechanics with jokes and frank conversation.

Spiranac opens the lesson by saying her guest seems to be outside her comfort zone. “You’re a little outside your comfort zone right now. This isn’t the studio you’re normally in,” Spiranac says.

“It’s not a bike that goes nowhere,” Toole replies. “This ball actually goes somewhere.”

“I’m a little nervous, but I’m excited, too,” Toole adds. “See, I’m nervous. I’m tripping over my words.”

Spiranac agrees with her guest, saying, “Yes, I get so nervous on the first tee as well.” They both decide to relax and shake their hands to overcome the nerves.

The first piece of advice from Toole is to lie to yourself: “Just lie to yourself. Delusion is the best thing ever.”

The first challenge that Toole faces is the tee shot on a difficult par 4, and the objective is to make it into the fairway. Before her guest makes the shot, Spiranac mentions something she often notices with beginners.

“One thing I’ve noticed about newer golfers is that they’re almost embarrassed to try hard in golf,” Spiranac says. “And I feel like a lot of amateur golfers or newcomers to the game are only worried about how others perceive them playing slowly.”

“It’s like you’re in my head,” Toole says. “I walk onto the tee box apologizing. It’s the worst feeling.”

Spiranac’s solution is the pre-shot routine, which, according to her, “at any skill level is so important.” She demonstrates how it works: “I find my spot. I take a breath. I walk in looking at my target. I set up. “And then I have one feel that I’ll repeat for the rest of the round.” Her feel is to stay tall in her backswing and keep her back to the target.

She asks her guest to make her routine and set her tee and ball, saying, “That’s kind of like putting your hair up before a workout.”

“That’s so real,” Toole replied. “If I don’t have a super-strong ponytail, it’s like game over.”

Toole wanted to know “Is there a cute way to set the ball down without flashing everybody?” and together they decided to use “the little pop and lean”, which Toole considers to be “a good hamstring stretch.”

Spiranac requested a replay. “If you want to do that one more time, I think my male viewers would really appreciate it,” she said.

“And bend and snap,” Toole chimed in. “Works every time.”

The drive went straight and in play. “Who knew I needed to slow down and own it?” Toole observes, noting that the newer golfers “feel really silly taking your time because you don’t want to be like a pretentious [expletive].”

Spiranac puts things in perspective for her guest: “Imagine you’re training someone in a workout, and they’re doing bad form just to do bad form.” You would kill them.

“You have to train and play with a purpose,” Toole agrees.

For the second hole, Spiranac assigned Toole to hit over the water hazard and into the bunker about 145 yards out, choosing between a 5-wood and a hybrid. Toole confessed, “My woods and I have a strange relationship. There are days I love them, and there are days we are mortal enemies.”

Spiranac helps her guest overcome the fear of the woods and says, “People get so in their heads about hitting woods off the ground, but they’re actually some of the easiest clubs to hit,” then asks Toole to sweep the ball and let the club do its job.

Then she repeats one of golf’s most popular tips. “Everyone says keep your head down, and it’s some of the worst advice you could ever give,” Spiranac says. “So, I want you to feel like your head will naturally follow where the ball is.”

“That’s actually really helpful,” Toole admits.

The ball flew into the air and stayed out of the water. “You didn’t land in the water, so you accomplished the goal,” Spiranac says.

Spiranac also provides psychological help. When asked about her goals, Toole says she aims “to reach a point where I can play any course and enjoy my time.”

“I don’t need to be a scratch golfer,” Toole said. “I’d love to be one day. I know I’m going to be hard on myself, and perhaps in my eighties I’ll get there.” She also added, “I want to see more women’s leagues and more women out on the golf course.”

Toole said she turns down some invitations to celebrity golf events. “I’m not at a point where I feel good enough to go out there,” she said. “I just feel like I’d embarrass myself at this moment.”

However, Spiranac thinks that Toole is already ready: “From what I’ve seen, you’re more than prepared and ready to go play. I’ll never remember someone who isn’t the best at golf. I remember their attitude.”

“Toole, you’re a really fun person to play golf with,” Spiranac says, describing how she sees Toole. Then she mentions that having a good attitude during golf is more useful “a hundred times over someone who’s scratch and an [expletive].”

Toole agreed. “When you have bad energy while you’re playing golf, it’s like, what the heck is your problem?” she said. “I’ll be a vibe. I’ll have a drink. I’m ready to go and play.”

Then Spiranac offers to serve as Toole’s caddie, and Toole happily accepts: “Oh, but dear God, yes. Tell me everything to do.”

“I’ll be there for you every step of the way, but you have to start saying yes to those opportunities because you’re ready,” Spiranac said.

When Toole needs to play the chip shot, Spiranac demonstrates the combination of technique and some bawdy humor. Her key to chipping is keeping her arms pinned to her chest through the stroke. “I never lose connection from my chest to the swing,” Spiranac explains. “As soon as I go out and I go in, and I feel disconnected, it’s going to be a bad shot.”

“Toole, you’re feeling the humor,” she adds.

Toole admits that chipping is her weakest part in golf. “I kill the ball,” she said. “I just like going for it.”

Spiranac assigns Toole to put 90% of her weight on her front foot, creating a 90/10 split, then performs the exercise herself. “Dude, you’re unreal,” Toole exclaims. “That’s all I want to be in life.” She proposes a trade: her glute training in exchange for Spiranac’s short game skills. “Listen, you want an ass? I want to do that.”

When Toole manages to pull off the chip shot, she says, “Oh my gosh, where have you been my whole life?”

Spiranac shakes her head and says, “I don’t think you understand from that lie. That was such a good shot.” Then she adds, “You’re crushing it right now. We’ve hit three for three with the challenges.”

“I’m just glad this is on camera so everyone’s going to believe it,” Toole replies.

Spiranac puts Toole on the spot to know her better. Toole confesses her habit of swinging very hard: “There was a period in my life, not long ago, when I was really frustrated with someone in particular who was holding me back both professionally and personally.” She even received golf balls with this person’s face on them. “That’s probably where I picked up the bad habit of trying to crush the ball,” she says.

When asked which fruit she would be, Toole answers that “Pineapple,” but quickly adds, “Not an upside-down pineapple.”

The most candid moment is when Spiranac starts talking about their careers and children. “People always ask me, ‘When are you going to have kids? Do you even want kids?'” and there are days I feel 50/50 about it,” Spiranac says. But she continues, “I love my work so much, and I also love me.”

She worries that “my whole body is going to change and my identity is going to change.” She also worried that “I don’t want to feel like I’m failing at work and failing as a mom and failing at all these things.”

“And you’re giving everybody 20 percent, and then you feel like a shell,” Toole says.

Toole described similar experiences. “I feel like we’re in an era where you either have to pick a direction,” she said. “Either you get married and have kids and then re-find your footing at work, or you stay single and focus solely on work.”

“And I’m more of a hybrid person,” Toole said.

“She is the right guy. I know he’s the one for me. I know we want to have kids and all that stuff.” However, Toole feels that “I do feel pulled, like I don’t fit neatly into either group.”

“I look forward to being a mom, but I’m not going to give up what I’m doing to make that happen.” That’s why I’m pushing so hard right now—to keep the flexibility I want.

Toole left Peloton in 2024 after five years and now leads NKO Club, a fitness and wellness app. Filming day also coincided with the official launch of Dressi at Sprouts Farmers Market, a salad dressing brand that Toole co-founded with her partner Alexander Brzozowski. “It’s a protein-forward, better-for-you salad dressing and drizzle,” Toole says, noting that the recipe “started in my kitchen two years ago.”

“I have half of my girlfriends married with kids,” Toole says. “The other half are single as [expletive].”

The two decide that they need drinks. Their order is “P*rn star martinis”.

Back on the golf course, Spiranac guides Toole into the bunkers, starting from the fairway bunker using an 8 iron. Golfers cannot ground the club in the bunker, Spiranac explains, so Toole should hover the club above the sand. “You don’t want to dig into it,” Spiranac says. “You want to feel like you’re just clipping it.”

Toole recollects her first experience in golf. “My first time golfing, my dad’s like, ‘Don’t disrupt the sand’,” she says, leaving her “Captain Jack Sparrowing my way through the fairway bunker.”

Her shot hits the middle of the clubface. “That was the best shot you’ve hit all day,” Spiranac says.

“You’re just golfing with me now,” Toole says. “I’m not golfing with anybody but you ’cause apparently I golf better when you’re here.”

Spiranac talks to the camera. “That right there is what we call an addiction,” she says. “She is going to be hooked for life. That is a pure iron shot. There is no better feeling in the world than a pure iron shot.”

Toole has a message to all coaches who could not bring her to this moment: “To every man who’s ever tried to coach me up until this point and never got me to this point, this is what needed to be done.”

For the greenside bunker, Spiranac assigns Toole to open the clubface, widen her stance, put the ball near her front foot, and lean forward. “We’re gonna c*** our wrist back,” Spiranac says, using golfer terminology for hinging the wrists.

“Babe, c*** that wrist, girl,” Toole replies.

Then Spiranac tells her guest, “Throw our hands at it,” and lets the bounce do the work. “The bounce is this section on the bottom of your wedge,” Spiranac explains. Spiranac steers Toole away from the more common technique of opening her stance to slice the ball. “I find that technique really difficult for new golfers,” Spiranac said.

“When I see people blast a shot from a greenside bunker, it looks like they’re swinging hard, but they’re not,” Toole notes.

“New golfers, when they’re in the bunker, this is where triples and quads come from, because they keep getting it in or they blade it over,” Spiranac said. “That shot right there will then leave you an opportunity to make your putt.”

Then, while they are raking, Toole admitted she feels like Mulan, and Spiranac calls her “a natural at the rake.” Toole selects “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” for karaoke performance, claiming it to be “easy to sing” and a hit with the crowd. She jokingly builds the bunker in her backyard, but warns, “my dog might think this is for something else, which would be unfortunate.”

On the green, Spiranac explains to her guest how to put, showing the modified routine based on AimPoint, a green-reading method. Since Toole said that she trusts her body more than her eyes, Spiranac asked Toole to straddle the line halfway between the ball and the cup to feel the movement of her weight. “To the left,” Toole replied.

Then Spiranac reads the putt from behind and from the low side in sections. “If it’s breaking, I never look at the hole. I’m only watching the spot,” she explains.

“I’ve always wondered why everyone walks around the hole,” Toole mused.

Then Spiranac shares her preferences in practice stroke routine—behind the ball, not beside it. “Putting can get a little mental,” she says. “So for me, this feels more athletic.”

Also, she shares her tempo advice. “Nelly does this with her full swing—she says Coca-Cola,” Spiranac says, alluding to another professional golfer. “With putting, I say one potato, two potato. That way you never rush it on the way down or force it on the way back.”

“I tend to get a little quick and then slow it down after I hit the ball,” Toole admits. “I just realized, oh my God, I totally forgot. I do that all the time. It’s such a goober move.”

For the final challenge, Spiranac asks Toole to complete the last two holes—the par-3 and the par-4—no worse than at 4 over par. On the par-3, Toole sends the ball past the hole. “I overthought it,” she admits. “Now that we’re actually playing, this is what happens when I play it in my head.”

Spiranac takes the blame for putting too much on Toole. “I’ve thrown so much at you today. Let’s do the routine, but in a quicker rhythm so the bad thoughts don’t have time to creep in.”

Anxiety or depression can’t hit a moving target,” Toole said. Both agreed the only antidote was to move.

On the closing par-4, which was about 210 yards out, Spiranac gives Toole a driver and a short mantra—”Trust it. Believe it. Feel it. See it.” Teeing up the ball, they repeat their motto—”C***, lock and drop it.”

Spiranac also shares a pro move for lining up the ball. “Golfers get a little odd, and you just look the part when you do this,” she says.

“That’s my girl right there,” Spiranac exclaims about the shot Toole made.

“We might be the most dynamic of dynamic duos that have ever duoed,” Toole replies.

Their exchange now took another twist, turning to the glute exercise program that Toole was supposed to teach Spiranac, and he made it clear that it was going to be harder than the golf tutorial. “No, I respond well to negative reinforcement,” Spiranac replied. When Toole, who took a drill sergeant attitude, said to her, “You [expletive] suck,” Toole retorted, “That does things for me.”

Toole’s next shot won applause. “It’s like I slapped it,” she said. “It’s so much fun when you get it right.”

“You’re a golfer,” Spiranac confirmed.

Toole and Spiranac made their glute exercise program depend on the last putt, and it missed the hole. “So close,” Spiranac said. While Toole made her own miss one over the mark and confessed, “We’ve got to work on putting.”

Spiranac wrapped up her praise. “You did such a great job. You should feel really proud of yourself,” she said. “I know it’s not always easy to put yourself into an uncomfortable position, in an environment that you don’t know, but you absolutely crushed it, and you will crush my glutes.”

Toole promised some hip thrusts and cable abductions. “You’re going to hate me, but you’re going to thank me later,” she teased.

This is honestly, Paige, the best instruction I’ve ever received, Toole said, adding that he now felt ready to go out and play, no longer feeling lost or out of place.

Spiranac and Toole teased that they have “trauma bonded.” Spiranac signed off by saying that she will return to her audience “with a big fat juicy booty.”

“We’re getting the a**, Toole joked.”