Maddie Kowalski thanked supporters and acknowledged her own mistakes, saying she is trying to focus on the kindness she received after an online scandal that she said upended her life.
In a new TikTok posted while she got ready, Kowalski said she was “overwhelmed” by positive direct messages and comments after sharing a video series on Instagram about what she described as cyber sexual harassment and the nonconsensual spread of sexual images.
“So while I didn’t appreciate a lot of the comments, and they did hurt my feelings, I also know that I’m 19, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I’ve done stupid things, I’ve hurt people, I’ve been a bad friend,” she said. “And so I really don’t hold any kind of hatred … towards the people that left a negative comment or DM me something negative.”
Kowalski added that she did not want negative messages to distract from the support she received, including messages from women who shared their own experiences. “I’ve done a lot of reflecting and growth over the past month, and I feel like the situation made me mature in a lot of ways that I just didn’t expect,” she said.
The TikTok comes after Kowalski addressed the scandal in a four-part Instagram video series tied to what she said happened while she was a student at the University of Florida.
@madskowalski Thank you
♬ original sound – Maddie Kowalski
A viral scandal, she said, she never saw coming.ng
Kowalski, described as a 21-year-old University of Florida student in the video series, said she is still trying to come to terms with how “breathe” after an online uproar she said she never asked for and never saw coming.
Videos of her, which she said showed her intoxicated at a fraternity party, surfaced online and quickly became a source of public fascination and ridicule. Kowalski said she decided to speak publicly to explain what happened from her perspective and to document her efforts to heal.
“Now that I’ve had a little bit of time to process everything, I just wanted to come on here and talk a little bit more about myself, as well as everything I’ve gone through,” she said. “I’m going to be as open and transparent as I can.”
“A way of trying to disappear”
As she returned to the internet, Kowalski said she noticed people commenting on changes in her appearance, including dyeing her hair blonde. She said it was not a makeover for attention, but a reaction to fear.
Kowalski said she dyed her hair blonde “as a way of trying to disappear.”
“I’ve done a lot of things to kind of change my appearance during this time, to hide from the world,” she said.
Why did she say she would not name names?
Kowalski said early on that she did not intend to retaliate or identify people involved in the situation.
“I’m not here to try and get back at anyone,” she said. “Many parts of this contain potentially criminal acts, and to protect the criminal and legal process, I will not be naming names of those involved.”
She also urged others facing similar experiences to seek help, pointing viewers to resources such as StopNCII.org and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
“If you’re going through any kind of cyber sexual harassment, or any kind of sexual abuse, for that matter, please know that you’re not alone,” she said.
How she said it started and spiraled
Kowalski said the situation began on a Sunday when she learned that a nude picture of her had been circulated through contact lists at Florida State University.
“In this picture, I was heavily intoxicated, and my friend was holding me up,” she said.
Soon after, she said she received messages that she was being discussed on Yik Yak, a social media platform used on college campuses.
“People kind of think they can just say whatever they want,” she said.
Kowalski said posts escalated and people began referencing videos she could not remember. She said she went to X and saw the videos for the first time.
“There were several videos from two nights that I could barely remember,” she said. “At this moment, I just felt my whole world collapse.”
She said the pace of reposting made her feel powerless.
“Everything was being shared and reposted so fast, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” she said. “I felt really detached from the girl in the videos because I had so little memory of the events.”
Doxxing, harassment, and her family pulled her into it
Kowalski said the situation intensified when her personal details were leaked.
“Somebody leaked my phone number, and people started posting what my social media accounts were,” she said. “Before I could privatize my accounts, pictures of me and my friends and my family were being posted all over the internet.”
She said she was flooded with harassment.
“I was receiving thousands of phone calls and texts and DMs saying the most horrific things you can imagine,” she said.
Kowalski said her roommates recognized the danger and stayed close.
“They went out of their way to stay with me and make sure I was okay,” she said. “I’m just so grateful that they cared so much about protecting me.”
She said the harassment also involved her father, including personal images being posted and strangers contacting him under pseudonyms seeking comment.
“One person even filmed their conversation with my parents and posted it to X illegally,” she said. “I’ll never understand how people can go so low to hurt somebody purely for their own fun and enjoyment.”
Kowalski said her parents stood by her.
“They’ve stood by me without judgment and with unconditional love,” she said. “They’ve supported me 100 percent, even though the situation was completely life-changing and embarrassing.”
What she said about consent and the rumors
As the story spread beyond X and Yik Yak, Kowalski said TikTok and Instagram posts about her multiplied, and that many claims were false.
“Most of these were just saying completely untrue, defamatory, and disgusting things,” she said. “By now it felt like the entire world was making fun of me for something they knew nothing about, and that was devastating.”
She said the harassment grew even more graphic.
“People were even taking naked photos of me and putting them into TikTok comment sections,” she said.
Kowalski said nonconsensual sexual images and videos of her were posted online, and that she was under the influence in the videos.
“Yes, there were nonconsensual sexual images and videos of me posted to the internet,” she said. “Yes, I was under the influence in all of these videos.”
She rejected rumors that she had sex in exchange for something.
“The rumors that I did anything in exchange for anything are entirely false,” she said. “Completely false and not true.”
She acknowledged that she made choices she regrets, but said she was unable to consent to what was depicted.
“I was not in a sound mind to consent to anything depicted in the videos,” she said.
She also referenced another online video, saying she did not know she was being filmed and did not consent to its distribution.
“I was under the influence and unable to consent to anything depicted in that video,” she said. “I didn’t know I was being filmed, and I certainly did not consent to it being distributed.”
Feeling abandoned, then choosing to move forward.
Kowalski said that while some people supported her online, she felt many friends vanished when she needed them most.
“I’m extremely crushed that so many of my supposed friends abandoned me during this,” she said. “I have never felt more alone.”
She said she was trending on X by the following Monday afternoon and that posts were not taken down. She said she moved back home and altered her appearance.
“I’ve been terrified to leave the house out of fear of being recognized and the harassment that would follow,” she said. “My biggest fear is another picture of me showing up on social media.”
Still, Kowalski said she is trying to reclaim control where she can.
“Although I don’t have control over what happened to me, I can control what I do moving forward,” she said.
She described the past weeks as the darkest of her life, but said survival itself now feels like an achievement.
“I’m still here, and that’s something I’m really learning to be proud of,” she said.
Kowalski said she plans to document her healing journey and hopes sharing her experience helps others.
“If sharing my story can help even one person feel seen, or teach one person why consent and decency matter, then it’s worth it,” she said. “This is the start of me taking my life back.”
