Sabrina Carpenter Declares War on Mediocre Men With New Single ‘Manchild’

Sabrina Carpenter is not playing with you, your boyfriend, or his male fragility. Fresh off an unstoppable year of chart-topping hits, international tours, and award wins that could make any pop darling sweat through their Skims, the 25-year-old princess of pettiness is teasing new music, and yes, it’s already giving iconic chaos energy.

Following the global domination of 2024’s Short n’ Sweet, featuring viral anthems like “Espresso,” “Please Please Please,” and “Taste,” Sabrina has officially entered her God Is a Woman, but She’s Also Petty era. After casually sweeping the Grammys with two wins and adding a BRIT Award to her carry-on (yes, she’s that booked), Sabrina is once again stirring the pot with a mystery drop that’s got fans foaming at the mouth and straight men very nervous.

Billboard Clues, Cryptic Captions, and A Pair of Life-Ruining Denim Shorts

On Monday, Sabrina posted a video to X (formerly known as Twitter) that sent her 2.5 million followers spiraling. In the clip, she’s thumbing a ride in what can only be described as two square inches of denim and pure audacity while a sultry voiceover whispers, “Oh boy.”

It didn’t take long before the stans, who have collectively earned their PhDs in Pop Cryptography, spotted a series of billboards cropping up along U.S. highways, each one tagged with a mysterious, male-directed phrase:

• “Manchild”
  
• “Hey Men!”
• “Amen!”
• “I Swear They Choose Me, I’m Not Choosing Them!”

With slogans this spicy, is Sabrina launching an album or a gender war? Either way, we’re ready for battle.

Pop’s Queen of Controlled Chaos

For anyone just tuning in: no, this is not Sabrina’s first time redefining the art of a slow-burn tease. If Espresso was her “I’m the fun ex” anthem and Please Please Please was a flirty love letter to red flags, these new clues feel like the inevitable clapback. And while Miss Carpenter hasn’t confirmed anything official yet, all signs are pointing to the pop star’s 7th studio album being one part breakup therapy, two parts rotted male archetype slander, and one enormous viral moment waiting to happen.

Naturally, fans are wondering who exactly this is about. And with whispers of a recent breakup with Irish actor Barry Keoghan floating around, the internet’s detective work is in full swing. But knowing Sabrina, it might not be about a man. It might be about all of them.

What’s Coming Next? Album, Single, or Just Vibes?

We don’t have a title, tracklist, or release date yet, but speculation is out of control. Fan theories on Twitter (sorry, X) range from an EP titled Hey Men! to a full-length concept album called Manchild or Oh Boy. The phrase “I Swear They Choose Me, I’m Not Choosing Them” is already trending on TikTok and may as well be printed on t-shirts by sundown.

Let’s be honest. The entire rollout is already giving Lana Del Rey if she did stand-up comedy. It’s cheeky, mysterious, and smart as hell.

She’s a Busy Woman, Babe

If Sabrina’s past year was her soft-serve era, delicious, flirty, and sweet, this next one feels like a knife in the cone. Aesthetic? Absolutely. Personal? Probably. Feminist performance art disguised as pop hooks? Almost definitely.

So what’s next? Another iconic single? A visual album? A full TED Talk on weaponized incompetence? Whatever it is, the vibes are immaculate, the shorts are illegal in some states, and Sabrina is once again proving she’s that girl, not just because she can write a hit but because she can turn heartbreak into a highway campaign.

Stay tuned. Stay unbothered. And if you’re a man? Stay humble.