Wait until you open X (once Twitter) and are presented with the final trial of faith, desire, and financial literacy, an invitation to the game: “1,000,000 or Shenseea?”.
It is the query of user @picsturesfolder, who put the internet into a frenzy with just one innocent tweet and a picture of Jamaican dancehall star Shenseea posing with a Jamaican flag bikini, flashing peace signs, winking, and sticking out her tongue, as is the natural reaction to the question.
The tweet has already garnered more than 2.3 million views and has raised discussion of romance, money, security, and the question of whether we are being more tested by God online than in real life.
The Case for the Money
To tell the truth, a million in cash strikes even more than Drake’s feature. To one user, it was a ruthless dissection of the accountant:
“What does she do on my behalf that some other girl cannot? GIVE ME MY MONEY.”
The other was some cold reasoning:
“Ima wiping my tears on my money.”
Since being heartbroken could be painful, it is less painful when you are shedding tears in a home that you can afford to pay for in cash using 24-karat tissues.
The Case for Shenseea
However, as it is, there are the romantics, the men who look past the IRS and into the heart of a Queen with dancehall bangers and a smile that would rob Wall Street blind.
One bold man declared:
“I would knock about a mil GIVE ME SHenseea!”
Some game theory was added by another:
“I take Shenseea because not only is she wifey material, she is also rich, such that I would be able to make money as well.”
That is, why accept a million when you can have the bag and a Jamaican goddess who could possibly make your life a never-ending Carnival.
The Hybrid Hustlers
Then there are the smart people who have it both.
“Get both the money, and you will have.”
“This simple ima steal the money and arrest her.”
“The Mil. Then I shall go 2 Shenseeas before year-end.
This is a brand-new business model that even a genius invented:
“I have that money and I am organising a Shenseea lookalike contest of 10k.”
Sir, could you kindly provide the Eventbrite link?
The Real Answer
Fellas, listen: Shenseea is not an answer on a multiple-choice test. She’s the curve-breaker. She is the type of female who makes you re-evaluate your whole financial plan, and you suddenly understand that you do not actually need to retire as long as you live in the present.
But again, make it a reality, and when you take the million, you can still see Shenseea, but this time, out of the VIP section you just purchased.
So what’s the right answer?
Honestly, there isn’t one. Since it is, after all, the true million-dollar lesson:
When you are requesting Twitter to provide you with financial guidance, then you have already lost.
