Adult film actress Alix Lynx decided to freeze her eggs at the age of 37, and she refuses to get pregnant right now simply because the biological clock is ticking, or the time when her career and lifestyle would be destroyed by a child has come.
Lynx realizes it is hard to ignore the pressure of the biological clock, but she will never let it dictate her decision, which she considers one of the most crucial. She isn’t sure whether she wants to become a mother one day, but she definitely knows she doesn’t want to right now.
Instead of becoming a mother because she fears being left alone with children in the future, she freezes her eggs to preserve her opportunity to continue her career and life the way she wants, without worrying about whether she will want children later.
“Having a baby right now would be turning my life upside down and inside out,” Lynx said. “I’m working, I’m building my career, and I feel like I’m building something. It is very important for me to have a plan and a good foundation that will support me in the future, instead of ruining my career and setting me back.
After 14 years in the adult film business, Lynx enjoys her career on OnlyFans, and she isn’t willing to stop just because she is at the age when women usually think about having children.
“Because of the nature of my job, I will always adapt, evolve, and pivot whatever happens. But now, I earn my money on OnlyFans, and I want to focus on it,” she said.
“If I have a child right now just because I reached the age when people expect it from me, I will definitely destroy my career. I’m very career-oriented right now, and I think it’s OK.”
Freezing her eggs doesn’t mean Lynx will become a mother one day. She describes this process as an “insurance plan,” which gives her an opportunity to wait a little longer before deciding whether she wants to have children.
“If you ask me right now, if I want to have a baby, the answer would be no. How am I going to feel in a few years? I really don’t know. I’m changing myself all the time, and I know that I will be in a very different place in a few years. I cannot predict how I will feel about motherhood.”
For her, it means she wants to keep her options open, and she doesn’t want to decide right now.
Lynx has already faced criticism about her decision regarding the freezing of her eggs, and she is receiving comments related to her age and fertility since she began discussing it.
“I’ve already received the comment like, ‘I’m surprised that you still have eggs.’ And I reply to them, ‘Are you thinking that I’m 47?'”, she said.
Though Lynx is financially comfortable, she points out the difference between being able to afford a child and wanting one. Before having children, she wants to buy a house, create more income streams, and reach a place where she can afford a child and everything else needed.
“I’m financially comfortable right now, but there are still things that I want to build. I want to buy a rental property, create more income streams in order to diversify my sources of earning,” she said.
“I live far from all my family members, so I won’t have a support system. People say it takes a village to raise a child, and I completely agree.
“I know myself, and I will not stop working. So, I want to be in a place where I could afford everything that I will need, maybe some help, and a house that will provide a lot of space for all of this.”
It is not only about the finances for Lynx. She values her freedom, and she is not ready to give up responsibilities connected with having children.
“I still want to travel. I want to be selfish. I want to live my life for me,” she said. “I’m not ready to be responsible for another person’s life right now. I have a dog. It’s enough!”
“I’m 37, but I do not feel that I have reached a place where I have to start living a completely different lifestyle. I’m not ready for the lifestyle of a mother.”
“I do not know if I ever will be ready for it. Maybe in a few years I will change my mind and be ready, or I will never have a child. I really don’t know it. What I know is that I’m certainly not ready now.”
According to Lynx, there is a contradiction in asking women to carefully plan their careers and finances while criticizing them for doing the same with motherhood. In her opinion, waiting until she feels ready emotionally, professionally, and financially is the most responsible decision for her.
“People might judge me for prioritizing my career, but I don’t care about that. If I have a child in the future, wouldn’t I rather bring them into a stable, secure, loving, and supporting family? I’d rather be a good parent.
“The alternative would be saying, ‘I’m at a certain age, so I guess it’s time,’ and winging it. What I’m doing now is the responsible choice.”
Because Lynx has worked in an industry where women are often criticized for their decisions all her life, she isn’t scared of criticism.
“I’m sure that there are people who judge me for it, but people already judge me for my career,” she said. “People will judge me no matter what I do, so it doesn’t really affect me anymore.”
She also points out the fact that there is more physical and emotional burden of pregnancy and birth on women, and it also affects them after giving birth to the child.
“So much pressure is on women. We are pregnant for nine months, we give birth to a child, and then recover from the birth. You can’t underestimate the physical and psychological impact of that.
“People talk about the pregnancy like it’s always glorious, and sure it is, but what about morning sickness, exhaustion, and other negative effects which can influence the ability of women to function in their everyday life? You won’t understand how it feels before you’re pregnant.”
The inequality between women and men continues after the birth of the child when men are not judged as often as women for their parenting activities.
“I think that we congratulate men for the basics,” she said. “People say, ‘Oh my God, he took his kids to the park, isn’t it amazing?’ He’s simply doing what he has to.
“I don’t think that men’s life changes as much as women’s life changes after they have a child. Women do a lot of childcare and bear a psychological burden of it. It’s a real sacrifice.”
However, Lynx stresses that her choice is not a criticism of other women and their decisions.
“I have so much respect for mothers in my industry who do all this at the same time,” she said. “I have some friends who are moms, and I admire them. They’re amazing mothers, and they’re incredibly busy, but they’re able to strike a balance between it and their career.
“That’s their choice, but this is mine. I know myself well enough to know that I’m not ready for this. I don’t think that women should feel guilty for this choice.”
The contradiction around women openly prioritizing their careers over motherhood is partly generational, Lynx says, pointing out how different it was for her grandmother.
“I think about my grandmother; she had her first child at 18, didn’t have a career at all, and it was the norm for that time. It was a completely different time,” she said.
“Now, women have careers. They’re breadwinners and career-oriented. I think we understand that there isn’t a universal path for everyone just because it was the case before. Things have changed, and some people have not caught up with it yet.”
She also points out that men don’t face criticism for delayed parenthood the way they did in the Middle Ages.
“There are a lot of men who have children in their mid-40s, 50s, even 60s, and I don’t see them getting such criticism,” she said. “There is definitely a double standard.”
Ultimately, the decision to freeze her eggs is not about not wanting to have a child in the future. For her, it is about not letting her age, external pressure, and the fear of future regret dictate her decisions.
“You don’t have to follow the blueprint anymore. I truly see life as a choose-your-own-adventure,” she said.
“When a woman says, ‘Actually, I don’t want that right now,’ people’s reaction is, ‘What do you mean? That’s what you’re supposed to do.’ And my answer is: who says? Who made these rules?”
“It’s my life,” Lynx adds. “Women should understand that they don’t have to follow the external pressure.”
