Persephone Grace, a TikTok creator, tells us in her video “A Good Man vs. a Nice Guy” that being a “nice guy” and being a “good man” are two completely different things, and she invites viewers to form their own opinion.
“I firmly believe that there is a difference between a good man and a nice guy,” Persephone begins her narration of the video.
As she explains in her video, the idea behind the distinction came from a conversation among acquaintances and friends.
“Recently, I sat in a conversation with a couple of more acquaintances and friends, a mix of men and women, and they were talking about their different struggles with dating,” Persephone tells.
During that conversation, one man in particular dominated the discussion.
“One of the men spent a pretty large amount of time venting about how he was struggling in this realm and didn’t feel that all of his efforts of being a nice guy were paying off, that he was gonna pivot his approach and do something different,” Persephone describes the situation that happened to inspire her video.
Everyone else shared their opinions, but Persephone stayed silent until the discussion turned back to her.
“Everyone chimed in with their different opinions, and I kind of just held my tongue, listening in,” Grace explains. “But then they asked me what I thought.”
However, the conversation returned to Persephone, who raised her own question regarding this man.
“I asked him, ‘Do you feel that you are a good man?’ And he was not able to say yes immediately,” Grace said. “And I think that part was really telling for me.”
Next, the man turned the question back on her.
“But number two, he kicked it back to me, saying, ‘What’s the difference between a good man and a nice guy?'” Grace said. “I was like, ‘I love that.'”
According to Persephone, there’s an easy way to distinguish the two: motive.
“For me, a nice guy, he checks the boxes,” Grace said. “He does, you know, what is right, quote, unquote, for the sake of doing it, to get praise, to get recognition.”
“But a good man does what is right, even when no one is watching, even when it is unpopular, even when there is no payoff,” she adds.
She also offers a parallel to this definition that she noticed in her experience.
“I also see this parallel,” Grace explained. “When a lot of people meet one of my mentors, they’ll tell me, ‘Oh, my God, he’s like, the nicest man I’ve ever met.’ And I always gently correct them.”
“Yes, he is the nicest man you’ve ever met. But above that, he is also probably the kindest man you have ever met in your life,” Grace explained. “And I, of course, believe my mentor is a very good man. And I think that specific delineation exists there, too.”
“Being nice versus kind and nice versus good, those are very different things,” Grace noted.
However, according to Grace, this man took this statement poorly.
“But in that conversation, the man kind of just got a little bit defensive, which I understand,” Grace said. “Perhaps I could have delivered it a little bit better.”
She added that the man dismissed her explanation as a question of mere wording.
“But he started to pick at me,” Grace said, “saying, ‘You know, it’s just semantics. Like, you know what I meant. I’m being a good man. Nice guy. Nice man.’ Whatever it is exactly he said. And I think perhaps he is missing the core point of what I was trying to get at.”
Grace never mentions her friend and mentor by name in her video.
The end of her video includes a question addressed to viewers:
“Do you think there is a difference between a good man and a nice guy?”
