It’s the type of news that leaves you stunned. Aubrey Plaza, the comedic actress best known for her Park and Recreation and White Lotus roles, has reacted to the unfortunate news regarding her husband, writer-director Jeff Baena‘s passing.
Baena, 47, took his own life at home in Los Angeles in January. Baena and Plaza were together for more than a decade and were married in a small wedding in 2021. Plaza and their loved ones were extremely devastated by his death, and they put out a brief statement together: “This is an unimaginable tragedy. We are deeply grateful to everyone who has offered support. Please respect our privacy during this time.”
After some time, Plaza has decided to discuss her feelings freely. She did so while appearing on the Good Hang podcast with her best friend Amy Poehler.
A Widow’s First Words
The Plaza is normally sarcastic and jokes around, but today she was all business. “Overall, I am here and I am fine,” Plaza said matter-of-factly. “I am very grateful for life. I think I am all right, but every day is a struggle, definitely.”
To anyone who witnessed her rise, from a stand-up sitcom star to a formidable Emmy-nominated lead actress, it’s difficult to consider the private struggles beneath the public persona. She explained that she clings to moments of thankfulness, but there’s melancholy in all she does.
The “Gorge” of Grief
She defined her agony in one particular manner: like a science fiction film. She referred to a film, The Gorge, starring Miles Teller, where one gets trapped between mountains with eerie things lurking beneath.
“I vowed to myself when I looked at it, I thought, that’s my sadness … or what sadness would be like,” Plaza said. “I can usually see a lot of sadness. Occasionally I want to jump into it and become part of it. Other times I look at it, and sometimes I want to get away from it. But, it is always there.”
It’s a photo that’s so realistic it hurts, reminding us that sorrow is not linear, but rather like an endless terrain with cliffs and perils from which one can never be certain of ever escaping.
The anchor that remains
Amy Poehler, Plaza’s co-star and close pal, graciously reminded readers of the small things which aided Plaza through difficult periods: her dog, which always provided solace in difficult months. This demonstrates a supremely human emotion, experiencing love, sorrow, and devotion within the daily companionship of a pet.
A Tale of Love Cut Short
They began dating in 2011. For a number of years, they were one of the most secretive and lasting of Hollywood couples, exuding charm and humor. Plaza has humorously stated on Ellen’s program that their wedding took place almost by accident.
“I said I wanted to get married fast, and he said, ‘We can’t marry that fast,’\” she recalled. “Then I said, ‘Wouldn’t we be happy to get married on our actual anniversary?'” She surfed the Net and discovered onehourmarriage.com.
Their sense of humor and compassion were such a large part of them, two independent individuals who lived and loved on their own terms. That’s why individuals are feeling their loss deeply.
A Somber Reminder
A media report on Plaza’s issues is preferable over a star interview. It reveals the grave issue people are facing. Suicide ends lives and inflicts a lot of suffering on those who are left.
Her bravery in speaking of this experience and describing her everyday hardships will certainly resonate with all those who have encountered profound loss.
Jeff Baena was able to tell stories. Aubrey Plaza is, too. But she is telling stories now that fame cannot strip of meaning, nor time alter of sadness. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please know you are not alone. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to connect with trained counselors 24/7.
