A TikTok user named Kylie Brewer said that white men who casually date Black women but pursue white women for serious relationships may be exhibiting signs of a racial fetish.
In a video posted to the platform, Brewer laid out the scenario.
“If there’s a white guy out there and he has a girlfriend who is Black, and he dates her, and maybe he has another Black girlfriend, but then when it’s time to actually settle down and get serious, then he finds a white woman, that is probably a sign that he has a fetish and that he has been consistently looking to Black women to fulfill this desire that he has,” she said.
Brewer attributed part of the dynamic to social pressure.
“Or also, it’s a common thing of white men wanting to, like, ‘experience’ different races before they settle down and find a white wife, because there’s a lot of judgment still, specifically within the white community, about interracial relationships because of white supremacy,” she said.
She outlined what she described as warning signs of fetishization within a relationship that is not progressing.
“And so, again, if you feel like you’re in a serious relationship with somebody, it’s not progressing, and you find them making comments about your body, about your skin color, about your race, how different or ‘unique’ you are, these are all signs that you are being fetishized,” Brewer said.
Brewer compared the pattern to women who she said experiment with same-sex relationships in college but intend to marry men.
“And in my opinion, it’s the same as women who, you know, in college, maybe they experiment with women, or they have, you know, a girlfriend here or there, but they would never actually marry a woman,” she said. “They always want to end up with a man. They say that, ‘oh, I would never date a woman, I would never marry a woman,’ but they would have sex with a woman.”
She said the defining factor is dehumanization.
“Again, it’s about the experimenting and the fetishization of that moment. And the dehumanization of the person you’re participating in this activity with. That makes it a fetish,” Brewer said.
Watch Kylie Brewer’s TikTok video below!
@kylie.brewer Many white people will try dating POC but still plan to marry other wh!te people. It’s very dehumanizing😭 #ushistory #sociology #antiracism #humanrights #education
♬ original sound – Kylie Brewer💝
