A TikTok creator set out to ask what counts as the “bare minimum” in dating. She ended up retelling a friend’s story about a Bay Area business owner who moved his company to Texas to be with a woman he met on a dating app.
In a video almost nine minutes long, the creator, who posts as @ax.yaps, spoke from her car about a conversation with women from her run club.
“Generally, what is the bare minimum nowadays when it comes to dating? Because after what my friend Audrey just told me, I am flabbergasted,” she said.
The creator said she is single and loves hearing about other people’s relationships. “Your girl here is a, you know, a single Pringle, and I love to hear other people’s dating life, you know,” she said.
She said she and Audrey go to a run club together, where they have met other women. “We’re yapping up a storm and Audrey’s catching me up on her love life, right? I’m like, ‘Dude, where are you meeting people? Like, I know you’re on the apps, but like, generally where are you meeting good people?'” she said.
The women soon began comparing notes. “She starts telling me about some of her dating experiences, and the other girls in the group were also talking about their dating experiences and how they’re just kind of comparing about the bare minimum and what a guy does on a first date, and you will not believe this storyline that one of our friends told us,” the creator said.
Audrey offered a familiar checklist, including the sidewalk rule, a custom in which a man walks on the side closest to the street.
“So of course Audrey mentions the whole, like, make sure he brings flowers, sidewalk rule, open door, all that stuff, the gentleman things that it’s like, you know, yeah, that is the bare minimum,” the creator said.
Then another member of the group, Claire, shared a story that changed the conversation. “Honestly, I ended up going on a date with this guy that completely altered my whole perspective of what the bare minimum is,” Claire told the group, according to the creator.
The group moved to a coffee shop to hear the rest. “We’re all sat now, you know, we’re post run, we’re chilling. We’re like, you know, ‘What is everyone free after this? Let’s go grab a coffee. Let’s just keep yapping up a storm,’ ’cause you know us girls, we love to do that,” the creator said.
While waiting in line for matcha, Claire explained that she met the man during a work trip to the Bay Area. At the time, she lived in Texas.
“So I go on this work trip, OK, and the work trip is in the Bay Area,” Claire said, according to the creator. “I had all the apps and stuff, so I’m on Coffee Meets Bagel, I’m swiping, all this stuff, and I match with this one guy.”
The first date checked every box. “You know, the typical. He made dinner reservations, brought flowers, all of that stuff on the first date,” Claire said.
“I’m like, ‘OK, love that, you know, pop off,'” the creator said.
Claire then told him she did not live in the area. “But then I did drop the ball, and I told him, I’m like, ‘Hey, I just want to let you know I’m actually not, I don’t live here. I don’t live in the Bay Area, and I’m only here for the week for a work trip,'” she said.
The man was hesitant at first, according to the creator. “First he was kind of like a little like, ‘Oh, like, well then this isn’t gonna go anywhere,’ you know what I mean, because he’s like, ‘You’re in Texas, I’m in the Bay, like, what are we gonna do here,’ all that stuff,” the creator said.
Claire told him she understood. “Yeah, I totally get that. Like, that’s why I’m being transparent,” she said, according to the creator.
The two kept talking and found common ground. “They start yapping up a storm, you know, they end up realizing that they have a lot in common, and the guy goes, you know, ‘Claire, like, although you’re in Texas, like, have you considered long distance relationship?'” the creator said.
Claire’s answer surprised even herself. “Honestly, I have considered it, but I just didn’t think it would actually happen, like, to me, or like this would be a situation that I would be in, honestly,” she said.
The women listening immediately checked her hand for a ring. “We’re all, like, looking at her hand, like, seeing if they got married, you know what I mean? We’re trying to figure out the social, the cues, OK,” the creator said.
Asked whether the pair went on more dates, Claire said, “Honestly, we spent the rest of that week together, like, consistently, and everything just worked out so well.”
The creator said the man went well beyond simply making reservations. “He had dates planned back to back to back to back, like, every single day, and the man was a busy man. He was a business owner, you know what I mean, but he was intentional,” she said. “Intentional with his time, intentional with the energy he was giving, like, intentional with everything.”
Claire began to wonder what would happen when the trip ended. “This is like generally so good. Like, it’s just so good. What am I gonna do after I leave, you know?” she said, according to the creator.
After Claire returned to Texas, the pair took a break of about a month and a half while they weighed whether long distance could work, the creator said.
Claire told him she was unsure. “I don’t know if this is gonna work. I don’t know if I could see myself moving to the Bay,” she said, according to the creator. She also apologized. “I’m sorry, like, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to all happen,” she said.
The creator said Claire felt she “probably shouldn’t have, like, started swiping and looking” while knowing that a move and the long distance question were in play.
During the pause, the man began sending her flowers. “He starts sending her flowers almost nearly every week,” the creator said, adding that the two stayed in touch but that communication was “very slim.”
Claire was confused by the gesture. “I don’t know where this is gonna go because neither of us are willing to move, and, like, why does he keep sending me flowers if he’s not gonna, like, you know?” she said, according to the creator.
Her friends saw an upside. “I mean, hey girl, at least you’re getting some flowers,” the creator said. Claire agreed that the bouquets were beautiful.
Eventually, the two got on a phone call. The creator said he told Claire, “Hey, I miss you. Like, I just don’t think I could see myself with anyone else.”
Claire pushed back. “Well, honestly, I know words are, you know, these are words. They’re not actions,” she said, according to the creator. “So what’s the point of you telling me all this stuff now?”
She also laid out a firm boundary. “Perfect, cool, but we’re chilling. Like, I’m still in Texas, you’re still in the Bay. We’re not doing this whole situationship long distance thing. Like, I’m not trying to have a pen pal,” Claire said.
“Valid, fair, fair. I love that for you, girl. You stand your boundaries, we love that,” the creator said.
Then the man told Claire, “So, I got a surprise,” the creator said. By then, he had been sending flowers for about three weeks straight, and the two were only “slightly in communication,” with Claire thanking him for each delivery.
The creator said she was hooked. “Pretty much, like, I had a book club at this point, ’cause I’m like, this is like a romance novel that’s unraveling, right?” she said.
Claire opened her door to find him standing there with a bouquet. “Surprise!” he said, according to the creator.
“What the freak are you doing here?” Claire responded. The creator said Claire was happy to see him but also asked, “What are we doing, you know?”
Over dinner, he shared bigger news. “Honestly, I have been working really hard to figure out a way to move to Texas, and I didn’t want to let you know,” he told her, according to the creator.
The creator said he had spent the entire time working out how to move his business to Texas so the couple would not have to do long distance. He kept it quiet because “he didn’t want to over promise and under deliver,” she said.
Though she understood that he wanted it to be a surprise, the creator added, “Man, sometimes guys really just be doing things and we don’t know that they’re doing things, you know.”
“So are you guys dating now?” the creator recalled asking.
“Yeah, we’ve been dating for like a year,” Claire said.
“So are you guys gonna get engaged? Because that’s crazy,” the creator asked.
“That’s funny, because we actually went ring shopping last week,” Claire replied.
“Girl, I don’t know you like that. However, however, please invite me to the wedding, because that’s so cute. Like, you know, fairy tales are real,” the creator said.
When the creator asked, “Where’d you guys meet again?” Claire said they met on a dating app.
“I know, I know, I know that part of the story,” Claire said, according to the creator. “But you know, literally everyone in my friend groups all meets on a dating app, and I met him on Coffee Meets Bagel.”
The creator closed with a thought of her own. “Bay Area, maybe I’ll go,” she said.
@ax.yaps wow
♬ original sound – not annie
