A TikToker says many single ladies ask her how to find and keep a good husband, and she gets offended when the creator shares her thoughts.
In her TikTok post, she recounted an encounter where a single lady asked her this question.
The creator, @matrixunni, follows a traditional approach to relationship counseling. According to her, ladies should work on themselves to become better companions in marriage. She also suggests finding guys who are stronger in the areas where a lady feels lacking, and focusing on men’s emotional stability and commitment rather than material aspects.
Matrixunni, 27, says her marriage is the main reason women visit her channel for advice.
“As a 27-year-old woman that is married to literally the love of my life, like, when people are around us, they know that we are meant to be,” Matrixunni said in the video. “When they see me, they see him. When they see him, they see me. We have literally morphed and become one for real, right?”
She says it has been the main feature of the marriage since she was 27, and not many other women her age can say that.
“And so what happens as a 27-year-old, which is considered young today for marriage, a lot of women who are single that are around my age will ask me how I found a good guy,” she states in the video. “I’mma tell you about what happened, what it was.”
Then she explains the whole situation to her viewers.
“A couple days ago, this girl was like about 25, and she asked me how she can get a guy,” she retold in her TikTok post. “But when she asked me that question, she followed it with, ‘Oh, you know, all the guys, you know, you see it on social media, just don’t know how to be men anymore,’ and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”
Matrixunni says she hears that opinion often, and it seems a common reaction keeps women from moving forward in their personal lives.
“It’s the same story, like, every girl that’s dated and it hasn’t worked out will tell you the same thing,” she said. “Typically, when women say those types of things, you’ll have, like, the sisterhood come together and say, like, ‘Yeah, men do suck,’ and like, ‘Yeah, like, you’re right, girl.'”
It may sound like support at first, but it doesn’t help women move forward with their lives.
“But it leaves you with no direction,” she continued. “It just keeps you in that cycle of, OK, I tried to date somebody, it didn’t work out, the men on social media, and then you find somebody, and then it didn’t work out, and it just stays in the cycle.”
Matrixunni said the conversation didn’t last long, but she tried to change the way that woman sees her own life and her attitude toward her dates.
“And I didn’t get too far into the convo with her because she got very, very triggered,” she said. “But what I told her is, like, you’re not supposed to connect with everybody. It’s not supposed to work with everybody.”
She told her that relationship failures are the norm in dating and that women shouldn’t worry that something is wrong with them.
“All the guys you see online and all the guys that you’ve ever dated or been interested in, of course it’s not gonna work out,” she said. “Of course you’re not gonna find them attractive, because you’re not supposed to be with everybody, right? You’re only supposed to be with the person that you’re meant to be with.”
She encouraged women to stay optimistic, even when they saw bad behavior online from certain men, and not to let it become an obstacle to their love life.
“So why do you think, because you see bad behavior online of certain men, like, why do you take it on and then just, like, give up on your love life because those men sucked?” Matrixunni said. “Like, if to you those guys sucked, they weren’t for you anyway. So this is low-key good that you found out that they sucked. But that doesn’t mean that a good guy won’t come to you, you understand?”
Matrixunni told ladies to pay less attention to men’s bad qualities and more to their own issues.
“So instead of focusing so much on how much men suck and how much the guys out there are X, Y, and Z, why don’t you just focus on the things that you could work on so that you could finally meet your man?” she said. “That’s what I wanted to tell her.”
Matrixunni remembered that the woman felt her words like an offense.
“But what ended up happening was that after I offered her a different perspective, I think that said something off in her brain, and she kind of took that as, like, an attack,” she said. “And she got very, very upset and very aggressive, to where I had to be like, ‘Hey, girl, OK, you’re being aggressive. Like, it’s OK. I wasn’t trying to attack you. I was trying to come for you.'”
She said all she can share with women is what helped her personally.
“You’re seeking a result, and I can only tell you what I did, you know? At the end of the day, I can only tell you what I did,” Matrixunni said. “So, like, if you want another perspective, go ask another married b***h, but I can’t guarantee that it’s gonna work for you, boo.”
She noted that this is only one way women can follow, and she can’t understand why anyone would feel upset hearing about it.
“But it’s an alternative, OK? It is something different that you could try, and, and that, you know,” she added. “Hey, hey, can you be mad at me, like, for real? Are you really mad? Like, d**n.”
@matrixunni i honestly think she just wanted my man 😭🥱 #fyp #truth #datingadvice
♬ original sound – matrix
