Doja Cat posted a three-part TikTok video series in which she addressed claims that she is demonic, discussed her past struggles with alcohol and cocaine, and rejected accusations that she hates herself.
The singer opened the first video by acknowledging that she had already recorded an introduction that failed to save, and that posting the message frightened her.
“I just did a whole fing intro to this. Okay, I’ll restart. D it. I wasn’t even recording. If I’m gonna. Oh, man, I really don’t wanna make this TikTok, because I have fear in my heart. And I was taught that I should do something that scares me every day if I’m on any journey to healing. And so I’m gonna do it,” she said.
She then turned to the accusations that have followed her online, saying she could find a use for them.
“Okay, so a lot of people on the internet believe that I’m demonic, that I have demons, that I have evil in me. So with that, if there’s anything good, it’s that I can teach you about demons. I can teach you about evil,” she said.
Doja Cat described what she considers the combination of factors behind that kind of behavior.
“Now, if one is to want to create demonic instances or imagery, that person will drink, involve alcohol, drugs, an addiction to really anything, and combine it. Not always, but could also combine it with I’m. I left one out. But uncared for, undiagnosed mental illness. And parrot or not parrot with the internet,” she said.
She used her own history as the illustration, saying she has had problems with alcohol though she does not consider herself an alcoholic.
“The best example, from my experience, is using the internet as a means of validation to the negative thoughts in my head, which were then brought on by drinking alcohol. I’ve never had a real problem with drugs, except for weed, but alcohol. I’m shaking. Oh, f***. Um, alcohol is something that I definitely have had a problem with. I was never an alcoholic, but I definitely had problems,” she said.
She closed the first video with a warning to viewers.
“So if I can teach somebody anything, and I’ll. On a place where a lot of people f***ing hate My guts. I will at least say that I am good for teaching you that it’s not good to pair these two things together. Stay creative. Take care of yourself. You’re not indestructible. And I think that’s it. Alright, bye,” she said.
@dojacat ♬ original sound – Doja Cat
In the second video, Doja Cat disclosed a struggle with cocaine that she said was roughly eight years behind her.
“Okay, now I’m gonna make a disclaimer that I don’t wanna make. I have struggled with cocaine, um, when I was like, I think could have been like 8 years ago, but I’m well past that, so. Haha, thank god,” she said.
Interrupted at points by her cat, she said untreated mental illness combined with social media is widely misunderstood.
“Um, undiagnosed mental illness or uncared for. Un unaccounted for mental illness paired with, um, social media is an extreme, extreme issue that I think a lot of us don’t understand. Um, axle, ah, ah, ah, ah. And I think that. Ah, ah, ah, axle. No. And I think that it’s important that we take that into account when we see things on the internet. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! No,” she said.
She said negative comments should be read with that context in mind.
“When we see things on the internet about ourselves that are negative. If people are commenting stuff that makes you hate yourself or whatever validates the stuff that you already hate about yourself, just know that first of all, you probably need help. Second of all, um, they probably need help,” she said.
Doja Cat, who has a history of responding to critics online, said she reacts to hostile comments but tries not to match their tone.
“And that’s why when people engage with me in a negative fashion, and I say stuff back to them, I, I respond more to those comments because I’m affected more by those comments, but I, I typically don’t give them the same energy back. There’s some. There’s. Sometimes I do, and I have. I mean, but you gotta understand that that person, like, once you understand that that person, um, is doing it out of their own personal, dare I say demons, uh, it becomes more Sad. Than it becomes angering and irritating,” she said.
She said insults directed at her are often projection.
“So if someone’s like, aha, you suck, and you’re worthless, you have to be. You have to understand that they could be talking to themselves. There’s a very high chance that they are, because the internet is a breeding ground for f***ing projecting. It’s. It’s everyone’s favorite place to project,” she said.
She ended the second video by asking viewers to consider their own motives before commenting.
“So before you write a comment, don’t. Before you write a comment. Um. No, don’t do it before you write a comment. You have so much patience, by the way. If you’re sitting here watching this and listening to me, that’s insane. Um, thank you. But, uh, think about what you’re saying. Think about if it’s a projection. Be clear in your words. This isn’t a place where people want to be clear. Um, and understand that not everybody is being clear. Not everything is the truth. Not everything is so cut and dry, um, that I could go on all day about this. Oh. And I don’t want to, because it gives me anxiety. Bye. That’s all,” she said.
@dojacat sorry about all the pauses throughout the vid my cat was being an innocent menace to society
♬ original sound – Doja Cat
The third video began with the singer announcing she planned to speak at length about what she called the self-hate allegations.
“I’m gonna go on a fing tirade this morning. Uh, that’s my butt in the background. Hopefully it’s not too much of a fat fing juicy distraction. Um, so another thing that I wanna talk about is the self-hate, uh, allegations. And I wanna talk about my experience with self,” she said.
Her cat interrupted the recording again, and she said she decided to keep the moment in the video.
“Oh man, I gotta get this cat out of my room. Do you see that? But on a very serious topic that will be interrupted in T minus 2 seconds. Axel. No, no, I can’t even make this s*** up. I’m leaving. I’m leaving this in. And it’s also giving me time to think about what I’m about to say, so. Haha,” she said.
She said she’s spent years thinking about the accusations and acknowledged they once had a basis.
“The self-hate allegations and being a self-hating black woman or a self-hating white woman or being a self-hating biracial. What are the other um. That’s always interesting to me because I’ve had so many years to think about that and I’ll be so honest, 1,000% and. And a lot of people are gonna throw their arms up and go, oh, it’s no surprise, baby girl, promise. We knew you hated yourself. And I understand that because it was very obvious that I did,” she said.
She traced the feeling to her childhood in a predominantly white neighborhood.
“And I even would verbalize that out loud when I was, I think maybe 16, and I think I hated myself since I was like, could have been like 8 years old. And that was when I moved to like my predominantly white neighborhood, and I lived there in the F***ing suburbs with a bunch of white kids with pin-straight hair and blue eyes, white skin. So I didn’t know why I was so different. I was maybe one of the four black kids in my. In my whole neighborhood that I knew of. And I mean, even to be honest with you, probably brown at least,” she said.
Understanding that history, she said, has given her a sense of direction.
“So, uh, I think growing up that way, that’s just what comes with it. And understanding that has made me feel a lot stronger, because I now have a direction to go in, as opposed to just sitting in my own filth and my own. My own confusion, for a better. For lack of a better word,” she said.
She said she wants to put the accusations to rest.
“Um, so I think, uh, I. I personally want to dead those things, those. Those allegations. I’d really like to, because it’s a negative thing, and the only way I can do that is go through it. And so I’ve gone through,” she said.
Speaking publicly about the subject, she said, could help others who share the experience.
“And I think also being public about this sort of thing is very important because a lot of people don’t talk about this sort of s***. You’ll see a lot of people, you know, go through this, have this issue of self-hatred. A lot of minorities, people might who. Who look like me, who come from similar backgrounds as me, go through this and not really say anything about it. So maybe if I said something about it, it would help. Um, I’m trying to think of why it wouldn’t help, and I can’t come up with it. I can’t come up with anything,” she said.
She said her feelings about her appearance have shifted over time.
“But I have learned as I get older, I’m really enjoying the way my hair looks and feels, and on a personal level, it feels great. Things change. I’ve changed,” she said.
She then addressed viewers going through something similar.
“So if you’re going through anything like that, not understanding your blackness, not understanding where you come from, not feeling like you fit in and wanting to change, or wanting to be something that you’re. You’re not; it gets better. You’re not always gonna be like this. However, there are some people who. You know, those things don’t get better. But you gotta take care of yourself. Seek help, get some sleep, be healthy, surround yourself with the right people,” she said.
She urged them to be selective about who they let close.
“Be wary, cause there’s not that many great people out there who will support you, who will give you the love that you deserve. Understand that you deserve love. Understand that. You know, you don’t. You don’t deserve less. So you should. You should live your life feeling comfortable in your skin. There’s no reason that you should live. Live your life uncomfortable in your skin. It just doesn’t. Those two things just doesn’t add up,” she said.
Doja Cat said she has been educating herself, mostly online, and described herself as an armchair psychologist rather than an expert.
“Um. And I’ve realized, uh. Educate yourself. That’s what I’ve been doing. And to be fair, I’m not like opening up fing hardback books and s and like reading. Um. I’m an armchair psychologist. Like, I’m really. I’m not. I’m not like a Learned person in the topic of. Of race or. You Know, I didn’t go to college for any of that s***, but I do try to educate myself through the internet, listen to people’s stories. Um, yeah, I read a little bit. There’s always gonna be more to read, you know, you’re never done. And you’re also never done healing,” she said.
She denied a series of accusations directly and said she would return to the subject later.
“Uh, I don’t hate myself. I’m not racist. I’m not a white supremacist. I’m not a Nazi. Um, and I will talk about this more in the future, but I’m gonna do it in a different way,” she said.
She said the videos were overdue.
“I just felt like this TikTok was, like, necessary, and I needed to get this s*** off of my chest. And, um, today felt like the right day. I don’t know. I wish this s*** happened yesterday. I wish this s*** happened 500 yesterdays ago, but that’s not how life works,” she said.
She said she was not looking for reassurance from her fans, but invited discussion in her comments.
“And, um, you know, I’m not here to ask my fans if they think I’m evil or demonic. You guys are obviously gonna be like, girl, we know you’re not. Girl, we know you’re not this. We know you’re not that. I know I’m not that, so you don’t have to tell me. But if you guys wanna have a real, like, beautiful conversation or difficult conversation in the comments, by all means, please,” she said.
She closed the series by describing how she felt about posting it.
“I’m gonna be thinking about the fact that I made this s*** all day, and I. I’m f***ing scared. But I. I’m confident. So I think that’s all that matters,” she said.
@dojacat fuck it
♬ original sound – Doja Cat
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