A woman on TikTok, @roopzthereitis, explains that her parents had no questions regarding the white woman whom her brother married. She claims that it is yet another example of the double standard that exists in her family concerning racial issues.
This is one of the videos in a series where she, who claims to be of Indian origin, discusses how her family disapproves of her relations with a Black man.
“If I were to bring home a white man, my parents would roll out the red carpet for him. So my brother actually brought home a white woman to introduce to my parents. And they accepted her immediately. They actually didn’t even ask her any questions, like what her profession was, where she worked, how much money she made. Because her being white automatically just checked off all the boxes for them,” she explains.
As for the comparison, the woman claims that her brother had a big family presence at his wedding, while she doesn’t have anything similar because of her relationship.
“My brother had a very easy wedding. Everybody showed up. Everybody was happy that he married somebody that wasn’t black,” she shares.
The comparison made her wonder whether her mother’s love for her was conditional.
“It was clear to me that because I was dating a black man. That my mom has conditional love for me. And I know that’s a really hard concept for a lot of people to wrap their heads around. Because a parent is always supposed to love their child unconditionally. But the fact that I haven’t spoken to her in seven years. Because I have been dating a black man. Shows that her hate for black Americans is stronger than her love for me,” she notes.
@roopzthereitis ♬ original sound – roopz_there_it_is
The account also features a follow-up series in which the girl discusses her father’s refusal to meet her partner. According to the woman, she wanted to arrange a meeting and tried to do it via messages. Finally, she was able to contact her father through FaceTime.
“So I have been dating a black man for the past several years, and I thought it would be time for my dad to meet him. So I texted and asked him if he would meet. Never responded. So finally, I was able to FaceTime him, and he said, absolutely not. He got really upset, saying that he doesn’t accept this. He wants nothing to do with meeting this man. And he just kept saying over and over again, no black people, no black people,” she explains.
The woman spoke about the topic again the next day.
“The following day, I asked him again. I thought maybe he just needed some time to process things. And again, he got even angrier than he did the day before and told me, no black people, no black people. They’re no good. I don’t want you to do anything with him. Cut it off. Cut your losses. You can find somebody else. And he hung up the phone on me,” she said.
The conversation left her feeling that she’ll have to leave her family forever.
“There’s gonna be a point in time where I ultimately will have to choose between my parents and my life. And it’s looking more like I’m gonna have to cut everybody out of my life,” she said. “I don’t know what it is, but my parents, when I talk to them, they make me second-guess everything that I do. When I held them at a distance, I was more confident. I was able to focus and just be happy. But every time they come back into my life, I feel like I’ve reverted back to being a six-year-old with no direction in life. I feel lost. I’m second-guessing everything that I’ve done in the past several years.”
@roopzthereitis ♬ original sound – roopz_there_it_is
In a new video, she answered viewers wondering why she introduced her partner to relatives she considers hostile. The woman said she warned her boyfriend about her family’s potential reaction in the first days after they met on the dating app Hinge.
“So a lot of people in my comments have been asking why I would even bother bringing my partner into a situation where he could possibly be disrespected. When my partner and I met on Hinge, I don’t even think we had physically met yet. We were just talking. Probably like three or four days in. I let him know that there is a 99% chance that he will never meet my parents, and if we were to ever get married. I know, crazy talk. Talking about marriage within three days of speaking, um, that my parents would probably never come to our wedding. I let him know up front that this is the situation that he was going to be in because my parents are inherently racist,” she shares.
The warning isn’t limited to her parents, the woman says.
“Since then, I have never brought him around to any family functions. He has only met a select few of my cousins that I knew I could trust. Because my parents are not the only ones who are racist. My aunts, my uncles, distant family members, older cousins, community members, they’re all racist. And I did not wanna put him in a situation where he could be disrespected. I have always done my due diligence to protect him from racism, from any type of disrespect. I wouldn’t wanna be disrespected like that, and I would never, ever wanna put him in a situation,” she adds.
She said she decided to speak to her father because the couple plans to take the next step and possibly get engaged. Besides, she already has no contact with her mother due to her racism.
“The reason why I wanted my dad to meet him is because we are planning to take the next steps and possibly get engaged. I didn’t want my dad to find it out from somebody else. I wanted him to hear it from me. I thought that my dad would be a little bit more open to it because we do have a good relationship. I’ve already cut off my mom. I haven’t spoken to my mom in 6, 7 years because of her racism. I thought my dad would be slightly different. I’m not saying completely different. I’m saying slightly different. And I was wrong,” she says.
@roopzthereitis ♬ original sound – roopz_there_it_is
In the third video, called the second part, the woman shares that racist attitudes in her family started long ago when she was a kid and hid her friendships in order to escape punishments. Also, she repeats a comment she received from a viewer.
“Yes. I’ve always known my parents are racist. From the age of five, my parents have instilled in me that I was not allowed to have African American or Puerto Rican friends. So I spent my entire life hiding those types of friendships or relationships so that I wouldn’t get in trouble. Somebody commented on my video that, um, Indian people see blacks as the bottom of the barrel, and that is exactly how they view African Americans and Puerto Ricans. They think that they are substandard. They view them as hoodlums. They just don’t see them as successful,” she says.
However, she says she doesn’t share her parents’ opinions.
“I was always confused as to why my parents felt this way, because all of my interactions with African Americans and Puerto Ricans have always been pleasant. I’ve learned a lot from them. I admire so much of their culture. I didn’t view them the same way as I. As my parents did. I don’t think it’s fair to say that just because my parents are racist, that I have to limit myself from these type of relationships and friendships that I have built over the years. That’s their problem; it’s not mine. I love my partner, and I love his family. I think they’re super loving. I feel that sometimes they’re better than my parents,” she adds.
@roopzthereitis ♬ original sound – roopz_there_it_is
In a separate video, she answers viewers who advised her to find a husband within her community, saying that she already tried it. Her first marriage was to an Indian man her parents approved of.
“A lot of people in my comments said that I should just date somebody within my community. The thing is, I married somebody within my community. He was every Indian parents’ dream son-in-law. Perfect on paper, yet I was so miserable. And he was probably miserable too. We ended up getting a divorce,” she shares.
She says that her parents reacted to the divorce by saying that she ruined her chances for having a relationship.
“My parents told me that because I was getting divorced, nobody is ever gonna love me. No one is ever gonna look at me. I’m washed up. I’m essentially a loser. And that took such a huge toll on my self-esteem and what my future would look like. Because I still wanted to be with a partner,” she says.
The situation influenced her so much that she decided to live her own life and marry outside her race.
“I went the route that my parents wanted me to go, and it just wasn’t for me. So this time around, I said to myself, I’m not going to live my life for my parents. I wanna live my life for me. And I ended up falling in love with somebody who was outside of my race. It wasn’t like I sought him out specifically because of his race. It just so happened that we matched. And we matched, and we did very well together,” she explains.
She also shares a different version of the call with her father compared to the first video, saying she wasn’t asking for a meeting.
“I didn’t call my dad to meet my partner. I actually called him to say that I am marrying my partner. And that is the reaction that my dad gave. My dad is never gonna. My parents are never gonna meet him. I just wanted my dad to at least know because he is going to hear it from other people once they find out. I just didn’t want him to hear it from somebody else. I wanted him to hear it from me,” she says.
@roopzthereitis ♬ original sound – roopz_there_it_is
What do you think? Share your opinions in the comments.
