A TikTok video of Brittany Bowen has gone viral because she discusses how putting a distance between sex, emotions, and intellect in relationships altered her way of dating.
In her TikTok, Bowen reveals that she noticed how she didn’t really like having conversations with the men she dated, aside from when they were having sex. “Once I realized I didn’t like a man’s company outside of sex, I stopped hanging out with them,” she said. “I really don’t like him at all. I don’t like what he offers. He offers, actually, nothing. He brings nothing to the table. He doesn’t treat me good. He just comes around when he wants that. And it’s like, I actually don’t like him. I like the sex.”
@brittanyybowen Really think about it… #men #sex #relationships #hottake
♬ original sound – Brittany
Bowen explains how her perception shifted. “My world literally exploded, and I saw things for what they were, and I completely changed my habits.”
She continues saying how her dating life improved once she chose not to have sexual intercourse with them anymore. “When you remove sex from the dating scene, and you’re actually just going out on dates with men, and you’re completely taking sex out of it, and you’re just getting to know them, you kind of realize that they literally don’t have much to offer and that you all actually wouldn’t really like each other at all if it wasn’t for sex.”
Bowen mentions that the realization led her to desire someone with qualities she likes in a person. “I’m at the point in my life where I literally want to like someone for who they are, where they come from, their morals, their spiritual realm, if they could be a good father, if they could be a good partner. None of that actually has to do with sex.”
The girl adds that taking away sex makes the picture much clearer. “The world literally got brighter. You’re actually just not wasting time anymore.”
The influencer urges followers to look inward and examine their own relationships. “Would you actually like them? Would you still kick it with them? Would you still like their conversation? Literally remove sex from your life as a whole, and you will realize a lot of people don’t have anything to offer.”
She also questions why society in the United States emphasizes sex so much. “There’s so much more to life than that. When you stop seeing it as an extracurricular activity or a ‘for the plot’ type of thing, you will actually genuinely realize the type of people you actually like.”
Since Bowen is attracted to tall, tattooed guys with dreadlocks, removing sex from the equation with those men helped her realize that she doesn’t have any personal compatibility. “Outside of sex with them, they have no personality. They cannot carry on a conversation. I don’t want to watch your high school highlight tape. I don’t want to smoke weed. And I don’t want to play 2K. There’s nothing there outside of semi-mediocre sex. You actually wouldn’t like them at all.”
Removing sex from her life showed her what personal compatibility and physical attraction mean. “That’s not actually my type. That’s what I’m physically attracted to. But now, when you remove sex, I’m not attracted to them in any way, shape, or form. I need someone that can hold a conversation, that’s intellectual, that’s smart, that stimulates my brain, that pushes me to do better.”
Additionally, the girl states that lifestyle compatibility matters. “I don’t go to the club, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs. I’m not going to date someone who does those things, because I don’t do those things.”
At the end of the video, she encourages her viewers to consider how they feel without considering the sex aspect in the equation. “Remove sex from the equation and really ask yourself, would I still like that man? And I think the answer is no.”
