TikTok video claims easy access to sex has changed the modern dating process, becoming quite popular online. Its creator, Jess P, encourages women to set higher goals for themselves.
The title of the video is “A primary reason men want relationships is sex, but because that’s so easy to access now, it’s harder to find a good relationship”.
At the beginning of the video, Jess P says she expects criticism.
“What I’m about to say is going to sound very conservative. It is not. It is just observation. Please don’t get mad. Do not shoot the messenger. I am seeing women kill themselves to try and appeal to men. They are changing every element of their personality. They won’t eat. They are telling themselves that every little micro part of their face and their body isn’t quite right. But if you buy this serum, if you buy this makeup, it’ll look better. And then he’ll want you. If you talk about his hobbies, if you talk about his interests, whatever it is that will make him want you. No,” she said.
She denies the romance of old-fashioned courtship.
“And the thing is, is that they’ll always look back at, like, the 50s or the 20s or some old time, you know, letters from whatever time period and be like, they used to be so romantic,” she added. “What happened? Babe, there is one word for it. Horny. They were horny. Now you can get your [satisfaction] for free by going on Twitter, looking up any word you want, and you can find full-length porn of it. You can go on OnlyFans and find the girl of your dreams making porn. You can then ask her to make videos saying your name and [performing a sex act] to you. Okay. They can go on Hinge or Tinder and find any sexually liberated woman that wants to be down for a quick [expletive]. They will go [expletive]. Okay.”
Then she links this tendency with larger cultural values and observes the same pattern in religious communities.
“And where it sounds Conservative is the fact that because we’ve normalized sex in the way that we dress, the way that we talk in our movies, our TV, our media, our music, whatever, it’s not so desperate to get a move on into a relationship. Why are the people that get the most married the youngest and get pregnant the youngest? Why are they religious? Because they’re not allowed to engage in any of that. So they’re sitting there [sexually frustrated] for four straight years being like, I need to get married right now. So they’ll find one person they’re mildly not repulsed by and get married, and they’ll be like, God led me to her. No, you’re addicted. But the point is, is that in this modern age where that is the case, you’re not going to find a ton of people that are desperately trying to get into a happy, good, emotional relationship. Get into a relationship? Maybe a happy, good, emotional relationship? Well, I don’t know,” she says.
The main message of the video is the following:
“And this is why I think it’s so important that we advocate for women to have bigger goals than just marriage and relationships. Do I think that that’s a fine thing to one? Absolutely. I think it’s definitely something to pursue. But in a time where that’s going to be harder to find objectively, in a way that is healthy and safe, you need to have something bigger than that. And I think that’s why so many older women are so mad at life, because that was their goal. And then they got married, their husband got their [satisfaction], and then their husband no longer really likes them. Well, they didn’t get any other goals achieved. They didn’t go to college, or they didn’t have a career that they wanted to follow. And now they hate life because their whole life was that. So, yes, have that desire, but also have other desires, have other dreams, have things that you’re willing to work for that your life will still be a value to you if that goal does not come to fruition,” she said.
Then she asks whether the past relationships were as happy as they are depicted.
“Lust is a powerful thing, and it always has been. It has always been one of the leading reasons people have been in happy relationships. Which they weren’t happy. They were just kind of forced to be there. Okay, just because you saw a nice picture that was in black and white that looked so romantic, or a nice little love letter, doesn’t mean that it was a good relationship. Okay, okay, okay,” she said.
@jessfrazer Develop your interests and buy a rose or something idk #relationship #feminist #feminism #dating #advice
♬ original sound – Jess :•P
