GreazyBarbie, a TikToker, is going viral after posting a video marking one year since she learned she had contracted chlamydia, using the anniversary to walk followers through the dating experience she says led to the diagnosis.
“It’s been officially one year since I got the clap,” she said. “So here’s a story time of how I got the clap, and just so we’re on the same page, the clap is chlamydia, and this story is not about gonorrhea. So if you think the clap is gonorrhea, you’re wrong.”
The creator said the episode began about a year ago, when her roommate set her up with a 6-foot-5 man named Mike.
“So my roommate set me up with this guy who was 6 foot 5 named Mike. I was like, oh my God, 6’5 “, 35. He’s a grown man. Love it,” she said. “It started off on a good page. She was like, Kate, I have this guy. He’s exactly your type. He’s tall, he’s funny, he’s nice. Like, let’s go for this.”
She said she agreed to give dating another try after a difficult stretch. “I said, okay, I just got over dating a gay boy. That was a bad run. Like, let’s try again, take two.”
According to the creator, Mike sent a flattering introductory message. “He DMs me a very nice thing. He’s like, hi, my name is Mike. Like, I think you’re beautiful. I’d love to take you out and get to know you. I’m like, okay, great, awesome.”
She said she asked to postpone because she had a friend visiting, and that Mike began pushing to meet sooner — behavior she now views as an early warning sign.
“Um, he keeps trying to hang out with me a little bit. A Little bit pushy. I’m not thinking anything of it,” she said. “Now, do I know that once they start to push your boundaries because you say you’re busy, they’re not listening to you, they’re never gonna listen to you, cut them loose, okay, but I was giving this man the benefit of the doubt. I’m like, he’s nice, he’s cute, let’s try, it’s been a dry spell.”
The creator said Mike then stood her up for their scheduled date after getting drunk.
“He gets so drunk that he ghosts me. I messaged this man at like 3. I’m like, are we still good for today? Nothing. Don’t hear from him until like 6:00 when we’re supposed to be at this date,” she said. “I did not get ready for this date. I made other plans because by 3:00, if I haven’t heard from you, I am not waiting any longer.”
She said Mike apologized and offered an explanation. “So he’s like, oh my god, I’m so sorry. Crazy thing happened. I ran into this guy from high school. We ended up going to the bar, just like completely lost track of time.”
The creator said she accepted the excuse at the time. “I’m like thinking I’m like this is a very valid excuse, like of course, like I totally get it. However, like I have made plans like we can cry again tomorrow. Now, this phase in life, I know that if they bail on you because they accidentally blacked out drunk, that is still a major red flag.”
The two rescheduled for the next day, and she said she picked him up herself.
“I end up picking him up in my car. I’m like, ah, great. He was like, I’m gonna Uber there. I’m like, do you want me to just pick you up? He’s like, yeah, you can pick me up,” she said. “He had a car. He just thought he was gonna get so drunk at the date that he wasn’t gonna be able to drive home. Also, red flag: I still went along with it. I’m like tee haha, I’m a people pleaser to my core.”
On the date, she said Mike was physically forward and spoke openly about drug use.
“So I pick him up this date, we go on the date, he’s being really touchy, he’s acting like we’ve known each other forever,” she said. “On this date he’s telling me about how he loves ketamine and he does it casually when he watches TV and he puts himself in a cave hole I love my psychedelics like I wanna go into psychedelic therapy that did not deter me.”
She said Mike’s descriptions of his family felt familiar to her. “He’s telling me about how his parents do a bunch of drugs and they’re like fun and they’re a party family and he’s telling me all these frat stories and I’m like, ah, this feels like I’m at home this feels like I’m in school again like I have a drug addict daddy, and I was In a sorority. I was a sorority girl. Like this is like so comforting for me, obviously.”
The creator said the night ended with Mike pressuring her into a sexual act in her car.
“We start making out of the car. He’s trying to get a little bit farther. I’m like, I am a good girl. I do not sleep with a man on the first date,” she said. “So he basically like makes me, it’s f—— give me a handy. I’m like, no, no, no. But I, again, a people pleaser, finally get out of there by the f—— skin of my f—— teeth.”
She said the two reconnected the next day over a coconut she was trying to open while living in Hawaii.
“Next day, we’re texting. I’m like, “Do you know how to open a coconut?” I lived in Hawaii at this time. Some random man had given me a coconut, and I was like, how do I get this thing open?” she said. “He was like, I don’t know because he’s a white boy, white howdy boy. He’s like, I don’t know, but I’ll do some googling, and I’ll figure it out. I’ll be over at your house later. I said, what? I didn’t invite you over to my house.”
She said Mike came to her home, and the two had sex. “And so he comes over to help me get open this coconut and then we start making out. And then he’s like, “You’re a really good kisser. Meanwhile, my whole face feels like it’s just been eaten off. It’s soaked because he just made out with my entire chin. I end up having sex with them. It’s fine.”
Afterward, the creator said she developed unusual symptoms she initially misattributed to a pool.
“We go to the pool. I have the most gnarly discharge of my goddamn life. Turns out that’s the chlamydia. But I’m thinking the pool just messed up my pH. It’s fine, whatever,” she said.
She said Mike also tried to ejaculate inside her without asking, prompting her to end the relationship.
“But then he literally tries to finish inside me without asking. So I’m a little freaked out at that point. That point I’m like, okay, things are violated. I don’t want anything to do with you,” she said. “So I ended after a few days because I had to riddle through my whole body and figure out, oh, I actually don’t like this man. I gotta cut it loose.”
The creator said Mike seemed surprised when she broke things off. “So I end it with him and he’s like, not gonna lie, this kind of caught me on a left field and I’m like, yeah, I’m sure it did. Here’s all the things that you did as to why I never wanna see you again.”
She listed behavior she said unsettled her, including comments the morning after they first hooked up. “You literally the next morning after I hooked up with him, he was like, ‘ Where’s Cupid? Let’s thank Cupid. Cupid was my roommate. Cupid is my roommate. I’m like, dude, it’s 7:30 in the morning. Shut the f— up.”
She continued: “He put my vibrator on his b— sack when we weren’t even having sex and Then, um, he wanted to meet my mom because she was coming into town and then was just like all around oh, he was saying things like, you’re mine, I’m gonna make you fall in love with me and I’m like, dude, get the f— away from me. You’re scaring me now. Now, like my threshold is tapped, burned through, we’re done.”
The creator said she did not learn she had chlamydia until about six months later, after a new partner prompted her to get tested.
“So I ended it with him, and then I found out I had chlamydia six months later when I was dating the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and everybody was like, you should get tested because he sleeps around,” she said. “I get tested. I embarrassed the f— out of myself because he’s like, I’m not sleeping with anybody else and I’m like, ” Oh, oh, great. Then I know exactly who it is because this is the guy who I was like, if anybody was to give me an STD, it would have been him.”
She said the diagnosis remains her only STI. “Anyway, peace and love. That’s my only STD to this date.”
The creator closed the video with advice for viewers to trust early warning signs. “But anyway, if they’re a f—— loser and they show that they’re a f—— loser, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. I’ve done it too many times. Okay, bye.”
Watch the full TikTok video below!
@greazybarbie The most diabolical two dates of my life #storytime #dating
♬ original sound – greazybarbie
