Alix Lynx Reveals The Dark Side Of Her “Perfect” Body: “I Had A Six Pack, But I Didn’t Have My Period”

Alix Lynx was obsessed with her appearance to look ‘perfect’ on camera for so long that at 37 she is incredibly thin, although this appearance may not reflect a healthy lifestyle.

After 14 years in the adult industry, Lynx faced immense pressure to look perfect at major studios, where she could do nothing but trust someone else to make decisions about her appearance and final image.

Today she controls every step from setting up the light to final retouching. Still, she would come to studio shoots knowing someone else would decide her hair and makeup, poses, retouching, and, most importantly, which photos to release.

So the only thing she could control is her body.

“I felt such a self-imposed pressure to look perfect because I had no control over the final product,” Lynx said. “I would show up on set, they’d do my hair and makeup, tell me what to do, and take the photos. I had no say in the retouching, what poses they used or what they eventually put out.”

Being extremely skinny seemed the only way to look good and avoid any unattractive pictures she couldn’t discard.

“In my warped brain I thought, ‘If I’m really skinny, I can’t have many bad angles,'” she said. “It gave me some semblance of control.”

What seemed like discipline to others turned into obsession in her private life, she admitted.

“I was eating incredibly clean at least six days a week and basically eating the same thing every day,” Lynx said. “If there was cake, I’d have two bites and think, ‘OK, that’s enough,’ or I’d have a piece and then go extra hard in the gym the next day.”

As Lynx explained, discipline was the key to her regimen, dictated by a desire that had nothing to do with health.

“I was really disciplined, and discipline isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but my intention wasn’t just to be healthy,” she said. “It was to be very skinny, and I was too skinny.”

The obsession with thinness and looking good on camera was so intense that Lynx stopped having menstrual periods.

“I had a six pack, but I didn’t have my period,” Lynx said. “From the outside I probably looked incredibly fit and healthy, but the reality was my body was telling me something completely different.”

Lynx describes how quickly appearance can hide serious health issues.

“That’s the danger with looking ‘perfect’ online,” she said. “Someone can look like they have the ideal body, but you have absolutely no idea what it has taken for them to look that way or whether they’re actually healthy.”

And the pressure was not limited to her weight. Afraid of being caught unprepared for a last-minute job, Lynx felt she always had to be ready, keeping her hair bleach blonde and wearing hair and eyelash extensions.

“I felt like I had to look on point all the time,” she said. “I damaged my hair and my lashes, and the constant upkeep was exhausting.”

More than a decade has passed since then, and today Lynx still makes money on her appearance and talks openly about spending thousands of dollars per year on cosmetic procedures. But the only change is the purpose, she said.

“I still go through this now; it’s just in a different way, and I’m a lot gentler with myself,” she said. “It used to be, ‘I have to look perfect on camera.’ Now it’s, ‘This makes me feel confident and comfortable in my own skin.'”

And of course it changed her attitude to the concept of beauty.

“I’ve changed the way I define beauty,” she said. “For me now, it’s about what makes me look and feel my best and most confident while still being gentler with myself.”

This change also influenced her attitude to food and sport.

“Before, it was, ‘I have to be skinny.’ Now it’s, ‘I want to be strong, fit and healthy,'” she said. “I eat more, I lift heavy, and I have a booty now because I work hard in the gym. I actually prefer the way my body looks with more curves, and I feel stronger.”

Lynx believes the pressure has become even harder to bear today because everyone can use editing apps to change their face and body before posting a picture.

Of course, she admitted that she still edits her pictures. Still, she tries to edit them not too much, realizing that the edited version of herself may become another standard of beauty, including in her own opinion.

“I’m not immune to it either. I still tune my photos. I don’t ever post completely raw photos online,” she said.

Today’s editing apps, she explained, make the process so easy that she can overdo it.

“The apps now are crazy,” she said. “You can change your body, your jaw, everything. I deliberately keep that stuff to a minimum because I don’t want to trigger myself into thinking I should look like this edited version of myself.”

Lynx explained that the extensive editing can distort her self-image.

“I don’t want to give myself a completely new face because that becomes a mindf**k for me too,” she said. “My brain starts thinking, ‘Oh, I could actually look like that,’ even though I can’t.”

Having worked on both sides of the camera and knowing what it takes to create the ‘perfect’ image, Lynx said the main misconception is that the bodies people scroll past on social media really exist in real life.

“I know exactly what goes into content creation. I know how much editing happens because I do it myself,” she said. “I’ve met so many women who just don’t look the same as they do on social media because their photos have been so heavily edited.”

This discrepancy between online images and reality can make people feel like something is wrong with themselves.

“You can be sitting at home thinking, ‘Why don’t I look like these gorgeous models?'” she said. “Then you see them in real life and realize they don’t even look like that. It’s a mindf**k. Not everything is as it seems on social media, especially in this industry.”

But ironically, after years of feeling like she had to look flawless to keep her audience’s attention, Lynx finds out that some fans prefer the version of her she would never allow on camera.

“I can be doing my makeup with my hair extensions sitting in a pile, wearing a bathrobe and drinking coffee, and people connect with that,” she said.

Lynx believes showing this version helped her build a stronger connection with her fans.

“Fans connect with you being real,” she said. “You’re just showing them you’re a real human.”